How did I meet Rachel? We met at the supermarket, she checked me out and took me back to hers.
I was eager, tried to make it work, but she could see right through me and said I couldn’t take it, that I was weak.
(SFX: Sad and angry music begins to play)
Then she threw me out… I - I felt so; used…
I was just low quality tissue to her and she’d found something better: Vinda Deluxe - extra strong tissues with knitted fiber technology… he can do everything I can’t… [pause] But Rachel, I’ll change… I still love you - take me back!