WOMAN: Eeek! Stop that!

MAN: Ha ha ha! Resistance is futile!

HERO: Hold it right there!

MUSIC: INSPIRING SUPERHERO

MAN: Who’re you?

HERO: Let that woman go!

MAN: I'm not letting go of her.

HERO: We’ll see about that!

MAN: For one thing, she’s my girlfriend.

HERO: What...? B-but, didn’t she scream for help?

MAN: We were just fooling around!!

HERO: Fooling around...?

WOMAN: That guy is really creepy.

HERO: Whaaaat?

MAN: Watch while I make mincemeat of him!

HERO: What’s your evil plan?!

MAN: Take this! I’m going to ask you, a total stranger, to be the “matchmaker” at our wedding!

HERO: Nooo! Not that!

MAN: Ha ha ha! You'll have to stand there all day listening to speeches by people you don’t know!

HERO: Damn it! I’ll be bored out of my mind...!

MAN: Heh heh.

WOMAN: Darling, you're so cool!

MAN: Really? You think so?

HERO: Hey, you two, stop canoodling!

MAN: Ha ha! Why don’t you go home to your own girlfriend?!

HERO: I...’ve never had a girlfriend!

WOMAN: Oh my god...

HERO: Damn it!!

MAN: How long are you going to hang around here? Scram, or I’ll call someone.

HERO: ...Excuse me!! I’m off!!

SFX: CAN OPENING, GULPING

ANNCR: For those of you who sacrifice yourself for the sake others: Suntory Boss.

WOMAN: Kyaaaa! Yamete!

MAN: Ha ha ha. Sawagunjanai!

HERO: Mate!

MUSIC: INSPIRING SUPERHERO

MAN: Dareda?

HERO: Sono hito wo hanase!

MAN: Kono onna wo hanasu tsumori ha nai.

HERO: Nandato!

MAN: Teiuka tsukiatterushi.

(MUSIC CUTS)

HERO: E? E? Tasuke yondehenkatta?

MAN: Icha-icha shiteta dakeya!!

HERO: Icha-icha...?

WOMAN: Ano hito mecha kimochi warui.

HERO: Eee…?

MAN: Sugu yattsukeru kara ne!

HERO: Nani wo suru ki da?!

MAN: Kurae! Shiranai Omae ni Nakoudo wo onegai suru!

HERO: Yamerooo! Mecha ki tsukau wa!

MAN: Ha ha ha ha! Shiran shinseki no ossan no mukashi-banashi kikasarero!

HERO: Kusoo hanashi naganarisouyanaika...!

MAN: He he he.

WOMAN: Anta, kakko eewa!

MAN: Eee? Souka?

HERO: Icha-icha suna!

MAN: Ha ha ha! Omae mo sorosoro kanojo no moto nidemo kaettara douda?!

HERO: Kanojo ha… Ita kotoga nai!

WOMAN: Hiku wa...

HERO: Kusou!!

MAN: Itsu made irun? Jibun. Kaerankattara tasuke yobuzo.

HERO: ...Ojama shimashita!! Tou!!

SFX: CAN OPENING, GULPING

ANNCR: Kyou mo Darekano tame ni ikiru anatae: Suntory Boss.