SFX: BREAKFAST TABLE AMBIENCE, BIRDS SINGING

GIRL: Ma, Alex threw Monopotassium Phosphate at me.

BOY: So, you spilled Ascorbic Acid on my army dolls.

MUM: OK, settle down. No-one leaves until they've drunk their Sodium Citrate, Calcium Phosphate and E12 Stabiliser. Alex, are you playing with dolls?

DAD: Who’s playing with dolls? Janey, you’re dripping Canthaxanthin all over the place.

MUM: What’s this on your shirt? Sodium Benzoate?

DAD: Err, I think it’s some Propylene Glycol Alginate. Erm, spilled on it.

MUM: Ah, so you were out drinking Propylene Glycol Alginate?

DAD: Alex, stop throwing Niflumic Acid on your sister. I just had a quick pint.

MUM: Hmmhm. Just as long as I don’t find any Retinol Palminate on your collar. Go soak it in some Breeze.

GIRL: I want some Propylene Glycol Alginate

MUM: I want some Propylene Glycol Alginate.

ANNCR: Breeze Washing Liquid. Stains have evolved. And so have we.