MVO: Here I am again, trying very hard to write a story completely unheard of about cheese for Maliban Cheese Puff.
SFX: COW BELLS
MUSIC, JAUNTY (playing throughout)
MVO: Suddenly I hear the sound of approaching... cow bells? Two large cows! Two large cows have entered the office? One brown. One black & white and they spoke.
COW1: “Mais Quelle est la question chère?” (TRANSLATION - What is the matter dear?)
MVO: Thankful for the concern, I said “The matter? The matter is what do I say about cheese?”
COW1: “Le meilleur fromage vient de France.“ (TRANSLATION - The best cheese comes from France.)
MVO: She replied. The other cow disagreed.
COW2: “I don’t know what you've been grazing tartie, but have you tried British Cheese?”
COW1: Oh no,no,no....
COW2: Oh, shut up you.....
MVO: They argued
SFX: COWS ARGUE
MVO: Red faced with anger, nostrils flared suddenly they turned on me and asked.
COW2: What do you think laddie?
MVO: Nothing, nothing
SFX: COW BELLS
MUSIC STOPS
MVO: Fright woke me up. I’m losing it I thought. I should have just said Maliban Cheese Puff is the only biscuit made with real cheese. That’s the truth anyway.