VO: Danny Cooper is a lip licker. Every ten seconds Danny slithers his tongue across the surface of his lips, like a lizard with a twitch. He thinks it gives him a glossy lipped glow like Face Man from the A Team. Instead it makes him look like Gollum from The Lord of the Rings. It’s reached the point where even Danny’s cat thinks he licks himself too much. Sadly, it doesn’t impress the ladies either. They confuse his “Hey girl” looks with “Hey girl, can I eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti (SSSSSS)” Which is ironic because Danny’s lips are so slippery, food slides right off them. Last month alone, he lost 14 kilograms. If only Danny discovered ChapStick 100% Naturals, that keeps his lips naturally moist, he could stop looking like a rabid dog, foaming at the mouth, and finally make his cat proud. Chapstick. Always read the label. Use only as directed.