FVO1: I don’t know what to do. I’m falling in love with him. Should I follow my heart?
FVO2: Forget him.
FVO1: What?
FVO2: He’s a vampire. You’re 16, he’s 157. He’ll be out every night and in bed all day. Your kids will be pale with bad teeth and in 60 years you’ll be a shrivelled old hag and he’ll still be hot. It’ll never work. Dump him!