M.A.S.H. You’ve seen every episode twice. You wear wedges. You have a chip on your shoulder. Your best friend is Mr. Potato Head. You had an affair with Mrs. Potato Head. Your name is Desiree. Which is a terrible name for a boy. You adore CHiPS, especially Eric Estrada. You thought Goodbye, Mr. Chips was about Eric Estrada. You think everyone looks good in a potato sack, including Estrada.
But nothing looks better than a tasty McDonald’s hash brown made with real potato.